This Is Not a Sad Book (But It’s OK to Feel Sad): A guide to grief, loss and getting through hard times by Elizabeth Vercoe with Kerry Ambromowski, illustrated by Grace Fraraccio

Title: This Is Not a Sad Book (But It’s OK to Feel Sad): A guide to grief, loss and getting through hard times

Author: Elizabeth Vercoe with Kerry Ambromowski, illustrated by Grace Fraraccio

Genre: Non-fiction

Publisher: Affirm Press

Published: 27^th August 2024

Format: Softcover

Pages: 240

Price: $24.99

Synopsis: This Is Not a Sad Book is truly not a sad book!

It’s actually a practical, compassionate guide full of strategies and ideas to support yourself or someone else through grief, loss and hard times.

In some parts you might even find yourself smiling.

Most importantly of all – the stories, tips and advice in these pages are a reminder that even in our darkest hours, there is a way through.

A Children’s Book Council of Australia Honour Book

‘When the world seems dark, sometimes a book is the most gentle and compassionate of companions. This is a beautiful roadmap through difficult terrain.’ – Megan Daley, author & award-winning educator

~*~

Grief affects everyone differently, no matter how old we are. It hits us unexpectantly and randomly – when we’re not expecting it. The shock hits us hard. Or it can build up slowly – we might know that we’re about to lose someone in our lives, but the shock will always take us by surprise. Grief isn’t easy to deal with or talk about for anyone – even as an adult, though we might have a frame of reference to help us manage our grief. Not always though, and for children and teens, these feelings of grief can be intense when we feel it for the first time.

This is Not A Sad Book was first published twenty years ago as The Grief Book, and was a CBCA Honour Book. This honest look at grief examines what it means to different people, how different people cope with it, and what people expect from other people when they’re grieving, and gives positive, useful advice to cope with your grief, as well as how to help people who are grieving. It has been updated with the effects of COVID-19 and lockdowns in mind, and gives space to remind people to be mindful of what to say when others are grieving, and gives strategies on how to help them. It also provides strategies and tips for you to use to help with your grief, because there will be times during any grieving process when you may need or want to work through something yourself. You may not know who to go to or what to say, and the people you go to also need their space to recharge so they can help you.

I found it refreshing that this book examined grief from a range of perspectives and scenarios, allowing everyone to understand that you can’t take too much from someone as you grieve or feel sad, because you don’t know what they could be dealing with. It’s focus though, is on what you can do for yourself. Talking to people is good, and giving the person you have spoken to the same space you need to understand and deal with their feelings so they can help you is something that stood out to me. The journey of grief, like many things in life, can be a two-way street. This book allows space for everyone who reads it to understand grief and come to terms with the idea that it won’t flow exactly as we expect it. It gives an understanding that everyone grieves differently – there’s no one way of grieving, or coping with our grief. And when the same loss or traumatic event affects many people, nobody in that group has a monopoly on grief. It hasn’t been harder on one single person than anyone else – we just all feel it and cope with it differently.

This book is realistic and uplifting, and shows people that it is okay to be sad. We all have feelings that are valid, and we all need to deal with these in ways that helps us. This is a good book to read, share and keep on hand as a reference when grief hits a family or community, to help people through it when they might not be able to find the information themselves. Even if all we can do is give someone this book, or some of the tips and exercises, we’re still helping them through their grief. Using your capacity to help someone through grief and sadness is significant and important to the person you are helping.