How To Be Normal by Ange Crawford

Title: How To Be Normal

Author: Ange Crawford

Genre: Contemporary

Publisher: Walker Books

Published: 5^th March 2025

Format: Paperback

Pages: 336

Price: $21.99

Synopsis: Winner of the inaugural Walker Books Manuscript Prize. With themes including coercive control, coming of age, and finding yourself, this debut authentically deals with timely issues with insight, sympathy and well-crafted humour.

Astrid is about to start her last year at high school. And her first.
When her dad loses his job, Astrid’s homeschooling comes to an end. Until now, she has lived within the confines of a tightly controlled, contracted world where there’s no room for anything … except following her father’s rules and pretending that everything is normal.
As Astrid, and her mum, tentatively expand their world, they struggle to break free of their ingrained wariness and self-doubt. But with hope, new friends, and the strength of a promise, Astrid has a chance to find out what she wants, who she loves, and who she really is.

Winner of the inaugural Walker Books Manuscript Prize, this is a brilliantly written YA debut that deftly explores timely issues with insight, humour and pathos.

~*~

Astrid has spent her whole life on edge – and her entire high school life being homeschooled, every aspect of her life tightly controlled – what she wears, what she eats, how she speaks, how she acts and what she has access too. But now, her father has lost his job, and her mother is going back to work. So, her tightly controlled world has come to an end. Now, Astrid is thrust into the world of school and people – unaware of unwritten and unspoken codes and rules that dictate how to interact with people. For five years, she has pretended everything is normal – but venturing out into the world could change how she understands what normal is. Especially when she meets Leila and Cathy, Lily and Priya, who show her that there’s more to life than the tightly managed days she lives under the thumb of her father.

As the final year of high school progresses, Astrid and her mother start to expand their world tentatively, still hiding things that are in direct contrast with what their lives have been up until now. Things like make-up, friends, things that make them happy, talent shows. Their constant wariness is palpable as they navigate the tremors and rumbles of a life lived on edge. A life of utter control, where things have to be just so. The world is not like that though. In fact, as Astrid discovers, the world is nowhere near as horrible as her father has taught her. She sees the wonder and freedom she can have; the freedom other people have. And she learns that what her and her mother go through is not how everyone lives their lives. Seeing how other people live is the powerful impetus she needs to understand her life of coercive control at home, the emotional abuse her father doles out against the women in his life. Living a life in effective lockdown with someone who has created a toxic environment that has become worse since he lost his job has had a dramatic effect on Astrid, and throughout the book, the revelations she has about being able to trust people – including a few people at school – give this book its voice.

And Astrid has a strong, clear voice – even if at first she is uncertain about herself. Uncertain about who she is outside of her father’s control, and who she can really be. It shows the reality of trying to escape and how hard it is, and the lengths people like Astrid and her mother have to go to, just to maintain the status quo at home. In this novel, I liked that the main relationship was the friendship between Cathy and Astrid – and I always feel that books for all ages need more of this alongside romantic and family relationships, because these friendships are just as important. As well as highlighting what coercive control can look like and what it means to try and break free, the book is also open about identity and how people embrace this, and what it means when we have to ‘mask’ and hide who we truly are. Astrid has to hide who she is throughout much of the book, and anyone who has ever had to put on a mask for any reason amongst other people will understand why she does this, and will understand her fear of not being understood as well as her desire to be understood and to trust people.

Ange also uses music as Astrid’s anchor to the world. It’s a place she feels safe in, and in a way, so she can somehow connect with her father, as long as it’s within the area of music he likes, it seems. Astrid’s story is not uncommon, and in writing this book, Ange has given this topic and issue a voice, allowing people to see that abuse doesn’t always leave physical marks. It’s done in the quiet of a home through control of where people are at certain times. It’s done passive-aggressively, and it’s done using silent treatment and acting like people don’t exist. Or through acting like the person acting bad is the victim.

While reading this novel, even in the moments of brevity and joy, there is a sense that as a reader, you are constantly on edge alongside Astrid. There’s a sense of not knowing what to say or do as well. At the same time, it is compelling, and I wanted to keep reading to see how Astrid and her mother worked things out and tried to manage their lives. And what this novel does is bring coercive control into the consciousness of people who might not understand it and gives people who are going through coercive control a voice and chance to see their experiences on the page. How To Be Normal is an insightful novel that reflects a reality that not many people understand and something that needs to be understood more.